… be aware of the stories you tell yourself …

I used to have negative self-talk to myself and I realized how it impacted my learning. I remember when I read my first semester results which have lots B rather A mark.   I spontaneously said to my self that It is B-grade results.  And my mind confirms it as a Yes-statement. The confirmation power of yes has transformed my thought “this is a B-Grade result” into a belief “Iam a B+ Student”.  That belief stays as commands to my nervous system.  It makes me believe that I don’t deserve to get the A mark. It is simply impossible for me.    It affected my learning.   It slowly erodes my confidence.

Our bodies, our societies, and our universe form an ecology of systems and sub-systems all of which interact with and mutually influence each other. Our unconscious mind absorbs everything we tell them, positive or negative words,  without any question or any filters. Then, our own body changes in response to what happened in our minds.   

Imagine what happens inside the warehouse of your memory (mind-body), If you keep telling yourself the unresourceful stories, You will fill your house (mind-body) with crap and it smells unpleasant.  It creates spiral down effects on yourself, to your mental health,  to your confidence in doing the things you want to do, or to how do you value yourself.

After understanding this principle, I started to be aware of this, and it helps me to be more accepting and in charge.   This sense of awareness and acceptance itself already guide me to the route to confidence.  Of course, there are tools, techniques, coaching, exercises that I need to go through.  Building confidence is building a skill. It can be learned. It requires time and commitment.

How has your self-talk impacted your self-esteem or self-confidence? 

About the Author

Hany Gungoro

Hany is a Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) and has more than 30 years of experience in various corporate projects. Most of Hany's consulting work is focused on financial management, people & organizational performance. She is the founder of ICreateME, a platform to help her fellow professionals reinventing their career path, breaking the “I am not good enough circle”, learning more about themselves, and be financially independent. Hany is a yoga and meditation practitioner.

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